Dishonesty is your Best Quality

Lie-Detector

(Picture Courtesy of isight.com)

No one is 100% honest. If you come across someone that proclaims to be just that then you should run for the hills and call your local law enforcement because you’ve encountered your first sociopath. A person that is a 100% honest with you does not love you. They do not care about your feelings as a human being. Most people lie and they lie OFTEN. It’s only right.

A person, at best, is about 80% honest. The other 20% is full of “white-collar” lies. Like “I’m fine” when your boss asks you how you are doing today when you really wish those numbers you played in the lottery hit last night so you can tell the entire office to “suck a fat one!”. “You look great” when your wife looks like a mack truck ran over her, dragged her over train racks and squirrels rummaged through her mane for nuts. “I forgot, I actually have a previous engagement” when someone asks you to attend another one of their painfully boring dinners/choir rehearsals/dry wedding/child birthday party, etc.

Join me in the alley: Have you ever been to a dry wedding? It’s the most excruciating event you will ever attend in your entire lifetime. I am a wine connoisseur…which just means that I’m a certified ‘wino’. I don’t attend any function unless wine is on the menu. I drink to be social not the other way around. Without wine, I am like fish out of water, a monkey with no tree, peanut butter no jelly…you get my drift? I am 100% honest about this so you should understand when I lie to your ass about not coming.

So what I’m saying, is everyone lies about something at some point in their lifetime. It’s natural. People who state “I don’t have alot of friends because I give it to them straight”. NO. You don’t have friends because you are a Grade A, Stone Cold, Certified BITCH. No person on this earth needs a friend, lover, family member that is constantly calling them on their shit. Yes, you knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea for your friend to think she could form a relationship with a guy that is 40 with no 5-year plan. Did you tell her that? NO. Why? Because you love her. Plus, she would probably think you were jealous. Yes, you think that you are the smartest person in the office and your co-workers are just taking up space in the office and in life. But do you tell your boss that? NO. Why? Because you need your job and being a teamplayer looks great on a resume. Plus, it’s actually more entertaining to watch people who THINK they’re smart versus people who actually are.

At the end of the day, being 100% honest is an exhausting and lonely life. No one wants to hear the truth all the time…no matter what they say.

Be honest when it matters and be dishonest when it counts.

If you care, here is an interesting article about how to detect when someone is lieing: http://www.storydose.com/2014/01/body-language-tips-to-tell-if-someone.html

Do you think 100% honesty is the best policy? Are you a sucker for punishment like me? Or do you think lies make life more interesting?

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